


Coming Out to My Brother's Boss and I've Been Doing Just Fine

by tifmes



Category: Fullmetal Alchemist - All Media Types
Genre: Coming Out, Gen, LGBTQ Themes, Light Angst, just in case
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-07-28
Updated: 2018-07-28
Packaged: 2019-06-17 10:16:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,908
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15459144
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/tifmes/pseuds/tifmes
Summary: “'It’s normal to begin to-to have certain thoughts and feelings.'And suddenly, everything clicks into horrifying clarity. Al knows that if he still had his face, he wouldn’t have been able to stop it from sliding into a look of nauseous horror. Was Mustang really trying to have the birds and the bees conversation with him?"Al and Mustang have the worst Talk in the world where they kinda bond over being gay but not really because I firmly believe that Mustang is kind of terrible at that kinda thing.





	Coming Out to My Brother's Boss and I've Been Doing Just Fine

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Going Home, Becoming Whole](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14318022) by [Brachydios](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Brachydios/pseuds/Brachydios). 



> This is just Roy Mustang trying to be a gay mentor but failing very badly. Might edit later, and not beta read so any critiques/comments about what you liked, what you hated, what you thought was stilted or what really worked are all very welcome!
> 
> Warnings for a non graphic scene in which a character comes close to having a panic attack and a scene in which a character believes they are getting forcibly outed (that they hadn't been is cleared up later). More details for each scene are at the end. To skip the almost panic attack stop at "'Aren't about girls.'" and begin again at "Somehow" To skip the other scene do the same.

For all that Al would tag along as his brother’s shadow during Ed’s stint as a State Alchemist, he never actually interacted much with the boss-man himself. The most conversation he and the Colonel usually had was through exasperated glances thrown at each other over Ed’s various antics (and the occasional apology from Al as he held Ed back from whatever goddamn nonsense he was about to get into). Al could probably count the number of times he’s had a one on one conversation with the Colonel on one hand. So it was with a non-insignificant amount of confusion that Al let himself into Mustang’s office at the Colonel’s request to talk to him. The man in question had looked supremely uncomfortable when he had tracked down Al earlier that day and told him they needed “a chat”. Al didn’t know what his body language had shifted to upon hearing this, but it had apparently screamed “panicked,” because Mustang had immediately paled even further (and the Colonel was already a very pale man. It was, Al thought a little unkindly, not a good look on him) and had hastened to reassure him that he wasn’t in any trouble, and for that matter, neither was his brother. Though the reassurance had his armor clanking in relief, it only doubled Al’s confusion. 

“Colonel?” Al asked as he stepped into the office. 

“Ah, Al.” Mustang looked up from the papers that he had been studiously bent over, though Al noticed that it didn’t look as though any of them had been started, never mind finished. “I apologize for the impromptu meeting. It shouldn’t take up too much of your time.” 

“That’s alright. It’s been kind of a slow day anyway for us.” Al answered with a weak chuckle. Despite sounding as composed as ever, the Colonel was obviously nervous about something, and him being nervous was making Al nervous. Mustang was fiddling with his pen (which wasn’t even open, Al thought wryly. It was like the Colonel had given up on even pretending to do his paperwork anymore) and-was that sweat on his brow? Suddenly, Al felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. The Colonel never sweat. Ever. It was actually one of the office’s favorite gossip topics: how exactly the Colonel was never seen with so much as a light sheen on his forehead even in the literal heat of battle, flames twisting through shimmering air and causing everyone else to pull at collars and vainly fan themselves with their uniform hats. Ed likes to say its further proof that Colonel Bastard is actually a demon in disguise. Al usually ignores this. Ed says a lot of things about the Colonel that Al ignores.

He’s still dazedly trying to figure out what news could have possibly made the famed Flame Alchemist sweat when Mustang finally clears his throat and says, “This actually isn’t, ah, technically official business. Which is why I apologize for taking your time like this.”

The whir of possible doomsday scenarios that were playing frantically in Al’s head came to a halt. 

“It’s-um. That is, I wanted to talk to you as-as an adult figure in your life. Whom I hope you know you can trust.”

Al stares blankly at the Colonel. The Colonel, for his part, somehow begins to sweat even more.

“You see, I-um. Well, you’re-fourteen.” Mustang pauses after stating this resounding fact. In the resulting silence, Al wonders if Mustang expects him to confirm that, yes, he is indeed fourteen years of age. Before he can say anything though, Mustang clears his throat and continues. “As I’m sure you know, it can be a rather-difficult time. For various reasons. Your brother-” Mustang grimaces. “-is a perfect example of that, as, again, I’m sure you know from dealing with him. Um. In any case, you may, uh. You might find that, that is-“

Al blinks. 

“It’s normal to begin to-to have certain thoughts and feelings.”

And suddenly, everything clicks into horrifying clarity. Al knows that if he still had his face, he wouldn’t have been able to stop it from sliding into a look of nauseous horror. Was Mustang really trying to have the birds and the bees conversation with him? Didn’t he learn anything from Maes’ first attempt at broaching the topic, the fallout of which Al still had to deal with? Why now? Why him? For god’s sake, Al didn’t even work for the Colonel. Was this some elaborate joke that the office was pulling on him? Oh god, was he going to do the same thing with Ed? Or has he talked to Al’s brother already?

It’s with an almost animal instinct to save himself that Al desperately interrupts the Colonel. “Um, s-sir-“

Mustang holds up a hand, stopping Al, even as he looks like there’s nothing else he’d rather do than let Al save them from this train wreck of a conversation. “With that being said, I just wanted to make sure you knew that-that it’s. It’s more than ok if those thoughts and feelings aren’t.” Mustang takes an almost imperceptible breath. “Aren’t about girls.”

Al feels himself get very cold, very fast. A slow panic that has nothing to with his previous alarm begins to spread through his body like ice.

Some of his terror must show in his demeanor, because Mustang, if possible, becomes even more stricken. Al barely notices though, too occupied with thoughts of how did he know, I was so careful, do the others know, how did he know, what’s going to happen to me, is it really that obvious, how did he know, how did he know-

“-Al, Al!”

Al takes a shuddering breath. “Sir?” 

“Al, it’s ok.” The Colonel says. His eyes are wide and he’s half out of his chair, hand hovering awkwardly in the air. “You’re not in trouble. I promise that nothing said today will leave this room. I’m not disappointed or mad or think you-that you’re broken, or anything like that. I promise that you are safe here, Al.” 

His face closes off a bit, but when he speaks again his voice impossibly becomes even gentler, which-Al didn’t even know the Colonel could sound anything other than abrasive, never mind gentle. “It would be hypocritical of me to do otherwise.” 

And with that, Al manages to stop trembling, mostly in shock. It’s like when someone scares your hiccups away, except instead of hiccups it’s the beginnings of a being-outed induced panic attack and instead of “boo!” it’s your brother’s boss coming out to you. 

Al suddenly feels very tired.

“Al?” He looks up at the Colonel, who is still looking at him in concern. “Are you alright?”

Somehow, Al manages to grunt a shaky affirmative. He’s not really sure if he’s at “alright” yet, but he’s no longer hyperventilating, which he thinks is a solid improvement. 

Apparently reassured that Al was not going to rattle apart where he stands, Mustang sighs and lands back into his seat with a thump. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you like this. I didn’t-I didn’t know, if that helps at all. Don’t know, that is.”

He didn’t-doesn’t know. Al feels himself relax a hair. Then surprises himself when he ends up saying, “I-well, I am.”

For his part, Mustang looks about as surprised as Al is by his admission. Then his face softens and he says, “Thank you for trusting me with this, Al. Rest assured that I won’t tell anybody unless you ask me to.” 

And Al’s glad, really. But he’s been in this office for way too long now, and he kind of wants to know why they had to have this meeting in the first place.

“Um, sir? If I may ask, why exactly did you ask me to come in then? If it wasn’t to-“ interrogate Al about how he likes boys and scare the living shit out of him in the process “-erm, discuss me, specifically.”

The Colonel doesn’t sigh, but it looks like a close thing. “Lieutenant Hawkeye had thought it would be a good idea for me to reassure you and your brother of any concerns you might have had after Havoc’s idea of a ‘joke’ the other day” Mustang says with a long-suffering look. 

Al tries to remember what Mustang is referencing and winces as he recalls the incident last Thursday, during which Al truly thought he might see Riza kill a colleague for the first time. To be honest, Al himself hadn’t heard exactly what Havoc had said, had just caught enough to realize it was some form of a crude joke that had to do with the Colonel and then pieced together the rest from the reactions of the others. 

Mustang is pinching the bridge of his nose as he says, “Lieutenant Havoc had meant no harm by the joke, really had only gotten away with the joke because we’re friends. That being said, he should have known better than to say that at work, and should definitely have known better than to say that in front of you and your brother when you didn’t have the context to know for sure what Havoc had meant by his-” a grimace “-comment. This is an intervention to clear that up, as well as to reassure you that as long as you and your brother are with us, my office and I will not tolerate any prejudice of that kind, and that if you or your brother encounter any harassment or other issues of this sort, you can report such incidences to us.” 

Suddenly, Mustang begins to look uncomfortable again, and shifts his gaze slightly to the left of Al. “I also have been advised to tell you that if you have any…questions concerning yourself and these sorts of topics, I-“ Mustang looks vaguely constipated. “-can help to answer some of them. As an adult with-experience in these matters.”

Al can only look at the Colonel. Silence reigns in the office for what seems like an eternity. Mustang sweats enough that Al thinks if there were an emergency at this moment, he would be totally useless; he’s so doused in his own sweat, Al sincerely doubts he could’ve used his flame alchemy.

Still nobody says anything.

“Oh, and would you know, Lieutenant Hawkeye can also answer any questions you may have, thank you again for having this chat with me, Al.” The Colonel says hastily. “Sorry for taking so much of your time, if you don’t have any further questions you can let yourself out.” 

Before Al knows it, the Colonel is bustling him out the door then shutting it behind him with a faux-cheery “Good talk!” He dazedly thinks he hears a thump coming from inside the room. He’s not really sure. To be honest, Al isn’t sure if he remembers anything from that day anymore. At some point he must’ve gone home with Ed. Al doesn’t know.

The next day, Al jumps as he hears screaming from the Colonel’s office.

“WHAT THE FUCK?? MAES ALREADY HAD THIS TALK WITH US, DUMBASS; I DON’T WANT TO HEAR YOU TALK ABOUT GROSS SHIT!! NO, YOU SHUT UP, THERE’S NOTHING YOU CAN TELL ME I DON’T ALREADY KNOW-WHAT DO YOU MEAN QUESTIONING?? QUESTIONING WHAT”

Al scurries to find some deserted corner where he can hide from the fallout. He loves his brother, but this is one battle he can fight on his own.

**Author's Note:**

> The non graphic scene is of Al's reaction when he believes Roy has found out he is gay and is confronting him about it. 
> 
> The scene in which a character believes they are getting forcibly outed is, again, Al believing that Roy has found out Al is gay and is confronting him about it. Right afterwards, Roy clarifies that he does not know if Al is gay, and was issuing a general statement about how being gay is alright. Al then comes out to Roy of his own volition.
> 
> EDIT: meant to mention when posting but i was imagining what Havoc said as a dumb gay joke between gays. bi havoc making the equivalent of a useless lesbian joke to gay man roy mustang. what exactly that joke is though is very much up to the reader...


End file.
